And all I could do was to shut my eyes tight, lie down with the pillow, make the room dark, and try to sleep. After few minutes I started counting sheeps. Though it crossed thousands, sleep was far beyond my vicinity. I was left with no other option than to get up. I sat in her bed in the dark room for quite a while, but still felt uneasy. Something inside was making her feel uneasy, uncomfortable. And I knew what was that. But for the first time I was feeling so helpless, just the way may be the islands feel while erosion. They might be knowing that the lost part will never be back, but still, leaves with no other option. I got up and dragged out my mini notepad. Playing with words were always my pass time. But this time it became necessity. I need to hold back these moments, the moments, when still I can say, you are mine. And there is no better frame than sentences.
She never knew at that time that a small ignorance will lead to a lifetime of pain. A small carelessness will change her life like this. Even after 15 years of the not being in contact, that pain still haunts her sometimes, like when she suddenly goes through the movies which we spent together while scrawling the remote, or when she goes to victoria memorial, or sometimes when she visits the temple, where in the last moment he said, " Yahi mauka hai yaar chal shadi kar lete hain." and she denied. He waited and finally moved ahead. She did what she wanted to. Carried on with her life and moved ahead too. But the only difference was, she never took him with her. Chapter was closed the moment she heard about his engagement. Why she cried that day, what was choking her throat, from where even all the minutest memories started haunting, she was clueless. Was he true that it was more possessiveness than love? But it was of no use thinking after complete 15 years. All today I know is, I loved him and he loved me more than his soul. It is never possible for parents to understand the sincerity till their children tell them. But again, they mend the kiddo minds so cleverly, that they can never spell anything out of the box. She never had guts to achieve, so lost. It was an obvious defeat on her part, but what kills her inside that she defeated him as well. Tears rolled down. Tonight was again that unwanted time when she misses him beyond control, and feels like running back to the past and hug him tight. Where is he? What is he doing? Does he misses me? Does he remembers her either? Does he love her a bit? How many kids does he have? Like whom they look? Can she ever see them? What if he ever comes across her or Vaibhav? Will he be able to identify Vaibhav as her son?
And Sheena got up. It was 4 am. Her 10 years old son Vaibhav has exams tomorrow. Just checked out, was having a cool sleep. She closed the window of his room and moved to the kitchen.She has a nice and beautiful apartment in Kolkata, where this cute nuclear family of hers stays happily. Her fun loving hubby is an IT freak. He is a firewall expert and is always in a mood to dissect the computers too. Her 10 years old son just learned to write with pen. Sheena is a perfect working lady. She is a Software Engineer in a private concern and a perfect mother at home. She knows what exactly is her priority, and what can seat in the second bench. Somewhere Sheena thinks she has done injustice with Rajiv as a wife. He wanted a second child. But she was not convinced. Why? May be the closeness of body still reminds her of someone, and the whim breaking moment is of unbearable pain. Was she unfare? Well, she has stopped thinking about it. That closed chapter has never effected her life, and she wants to continue with it. Rajiv is Sheena's best friend too, except, she never finds a comfortable zone in his love area.
to be continued...............
She never knew at that time that a small ignorance will lead to a lifetime of pain. A small carelessness will change her life like this. Even after 15 years of the not being in contact, that pain still haunts her sometimes, like when she suddenly goes through the movies which we spent together while scrawling the remote, or when she goes to victoria memorial, or sometimes when she visits the temple, where in the last moment he said, " Yahi mauka hai yaar chal shadi kar lete hain." and she denied. He waited and finally moved ahead. She did what she wanted to. Carried on with her life and moved ahead too. But the only difference was, she never took him with her. Chapter was closed the moment she heard about his engagement. Why she cried that day, what was choking her throat, from where even all the minutest memories started haunting, she was clueless. Was he true that it was more possessiveness than love? But it was of no use thinking after complete 15 years. All today I know is, I loved him and he loved me more than his soul. It is never possible for parents to understand the sincerity till their children tell them. But again, they mend the kiddo minds so cleverly, that they can never spell anything out of the box. She never had guts to achieve, so lost. It was an obvious defeat on her part, but what kills her inside that she defeated him as well. Tears rolled down. Tonight was again that unwanted time when she misses him beyond control, and feels like running back to the past and hug him tight. Where is he? What is he doing? Does he misses me? Does he remembers her either? Does he love her a bit? How many kids does he have? Like whom they look? Can she ever see them? What if he ever comes across her or Vaibhav? Will he be able to identify Vaibhav as her son?
And Sheena got up. It was 4 am. Her 10 years old son Vaibhav has exams tomorrow. Just checked out, was having a cool sleep. She closed the window of his room and moved to the kitchen.She has a nice and beautiful apartment in Kolkata, where this cute nuclear family of hers stays happily. Her fun loving hubby is an IT freak. He is a firewall expert and is always in a mood to dissect the computers too. Her 10 years old son just learned to write with pen. Sheena is a perfect working lady. She is a Software Engineer in a private concern and a perfect mother at home. She knows what exactly is her priority, and what can seat in the second bench. Somewhere Sheena thinks she has done injustice with Rajiv as a wife. He wanted a second child. But she was not convinced. Why? May be the closeness of body still reminds her of someone, and the whim breaking moment is of unbearable pain. Was she unfare? Well, she has stopped thinking about it. That closed chapter has never effected her life, and she wants to continue with it. Rajiv is Sheena's best friend too, except, she never finds a comfortable zone in his love area.
to be continued...............
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