When the entire country was cheering and celebration the repetation of the 1983 history, my grandpa was fighting alone in ICU one of DeSun hospital. I wanted to go there, rather being in the South City, because I knew there will be many more like me who didnt wanted India to win the world cup. Neither I wanted Kolkata Night Riders to play well. Because I didnt wanted any sort of unusual things to happen. I was avoiding change, fearing, that change will take my grandpa away.
Bhodla is the person who always calls me in the wrong timings. Today without those calls, I feel so baseless. He calls me when I am fast asleep. He calls me when I am in meeting or at crowd. He calls me when I am doing something wrong. 9:30 pm everyday he calls me. Wherever I am, whatever I might be doing. Today I want those disturbing calls. Wish, some connection can go upto heaven. Now I feel, if my maa, miya (grandma) and baba are my limbs, Bhodla is my spine. which most of the time I ignored. And now see, he is punishing me like this.
I diont miss his caring words, because I still hear them, I still hear his "thank you" whenever I do something good. I also wanted to say him thank you once he would have been well, but he is soo down to earth u see :P:P:P ....... didnt gave me a chance.
Today miya is alone. I think she can also feel him, or else how she is so strong I dont no. And yes, I am surviving. Now I know, nothing in this world is impossible. He always used to make me feel special. Everybody says " Ganguly babu to khali natnir kothai bolen (Mr. Ganguly speaks about his grand daughter only)". I am sure now I am loosing my stardom. I just wish everybody could hear him the way I do.
In my last post I was calculating time. Guys....my grandpa left me at about 5 am. And the delay I was calculating. Today I also started to think about the write up at near about 5 am. Trust me. Not at all intentionally. The watch shocked me also. Bhodla wants me to write. But of course this is not his last note, I will keep on writing about him.
Let me tell you guys, death is the worst ever thing in life. Something which everyone has to face. Today I am breathing, I am doing everything which I used to do. But I am not the one I used to be. I am changed. And you changed me bhodla. For sure for good. Let me succeed. And once when I will be there where u are now, I will go and tell you the entire story. How you always used to ask me to save my salary, and I didnt saved a penny in the last entire year. And when I saved a bit, it all went drenched with your bloody hospital fees. In contrary, I was about to gift you an ac. Your lose. I will tell you, how tough it is to live without listening your voice and scolding you. How tough to go to the studio with your photo and ask them to enlarge it for your damn ceremony, and how it feels to receive your passport size photo from the same studio which you were about to collect. I will surely tell you, that still you sweat ed clothes stinks in your cu-board. Still how every corner of the house reminds of you, and we will have to survive the punishment of staying there happily. I will tell you Bhodla, how miya dont cry, but utter your words, do the things you do. And do you have a least idea, the strong image of mine created by you doesnt allow me to cry, you r fault. You might not be knowing, now a days I do all sort of bad works, because I no you are not going to call me in the wrong timings .... yyeeiiii.... because u never knew, I am not that good that you used to think me to be..............hihih...
But let me tell you, I miss you. This 5 am haunts me. (Why it has to come everyday!!!) :( I cry every night. (u me secret. dnt let maa know it. ok? ) I have stollen ur 2 diaries, 1989 and 2003. (rest i couldnt find out.). I secretly smell your cloths (yaaakkkk). I wear your shoes now. (only because it fits perfectly on me and its beautiful). I seat in your place of the table. (I enjoy the position of family head.). I can see you everywhere, but I cant hug you. I cant kiss you. Let me admit, you ARE the best part of my life. And now you are my God. (i dont want to accept this, but yes you are.). I lost my childhood with you. I want you back. Desperately. You have done everything for me. Now when you are closest to the god, tell him your rinki is crying, she needs you. Ask him to send you back, in return I can give them a written that I will never ask for anything in my life. Do hurry up. Come back soon. I am waiting. I miss u.
Bhodla is the person who always calls me in the wrong timings. Today without those calls, I feel so baseless. He calls me when I am fast asleep. He calls me when I am in meeting or at crowd. He calls me when I am doing something wrong. 9:30 pm everyday he calls me. Wherever I am, whatever I might be doing. Today I want those disturbing calls. Wish, some connection can go upto heaven. Now I feel, if my maa, miya (grandma) and baba are my limbs, Bhodla is my spine. which most of the time I ignored. And now see, he is punishing me like this.
I diont miss his caring words, because I still hear them, I still hear his "thank you" whenever I do something good. I also wanted to say him thank you once he would have been well, but he is soo down to earth u see :P:P:P ....... didnt gave me a chance.
Today miya is alone. I think she can also feel him, or else how she is so strong I dont no. And yes, I am surviving. Now I know, nothing in this world is impossible. He always used to make me feel special. Everybody says " Ganguly babu to khali natnir kothai bolen (Mr. Ganguly speaks about his grand daughter only)". I am sure now I am loosing my stardom. I just wish everybody could hear him the way I do.
In my last post I was calculating time. Guys....my grandpa left me at about 5 am. And the delay I was calculating. Today I also started to think about the write up at near about 5 am. Trust me. Not at all intentionally. The watch shocked me also. Bhodla wants me to write. But of course this is not his last note, I will keep on writing about him.
Let me tell you guys, death is the worst ever thing in life. Something which everyone has to face. Today I am breathing, I am doing everything which I used to do. But I am not the one I used to be. I am changed. And you changed me bhodla. For sure for good. Let me succeed. And once when I will be there where u are now, I will go and tell you the entire story. How you always used to ask me to save my salary, and I didnt saved a penny in the last entire year. And when I saved a bit, it all went drenched with your bloody hospital fees. In contrary, I was about to gift you an ac. Your lose. I will tell you, how tough it is to live without listening your voice and scolding you. How tough to go to the studio with your photo and ask them to enlarge it for your damn ceremony, and how it feels to receive your passport size photo from the same studio which you were about to collect. I will surely tell you, that still you sweat ed clothes stinks in your cu-board. Still how every corner of the house reminds of you, and we will have to survive the punishment of staying there happily. I will tell you Bhodla, how miya dont cry, but utter your words, do the things you do. And do you have a least idea, the strong image of mine created by you doesnt allow me to cry, you r fault. You might not be knowing, now a days I do all sort of bad works, because I no you are not going to call me in the wrong timings .... yyeeiiii.... because u never knew, I am not that good that you used to think me to be..............hihih...
But let me tell you, I miss you. This 5 am haunts me. (Why it has to come everyday!!!) :( I cry every night. (u me secret. dnt let maa know it. ok? ) I have stollen ur 2 diaries, 1989 and 2003. (rest i couldnt find out.). I secretly smell your cloths (yaaakkkk). I wear your shoes now. (only because it fits perfectly on me and its beautiful). I seat in your place of the table. (I enjoy the position of family head.). I can see you everywhere, but I cant hug you. I cant kiss you. Let me admit, you ARE the best part of my life. And now you are my God. (i dont want to accept this, but yes you are.). I lost my childhood with you. I want you back. Desperately. You have done everything for me. Now when you are closest to the god, tell him your rinki is crying, she needs you. Ask him to send you back, in return I can give them a written that I will never ask for anything in my life. Do hurry up. Come back soon. I am waiting. I miss u.
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