After many days, had a long chat with Ria. She encouraged me to get back to my blog, which once I created to maintain as a diary of my happening life. Sweetheart, I wanted to dedicate this first comeback post of mine to you, but I will not. Because I dont want anyone to read it. Because it is about the worst feeling of life, my worst ever day. I know now, nothing can be worser than this, rather, I can say, I am prepared for the worst.
I thought of writing this long back. But again thought, if everything goes right, I will never write it. Will eliminate this part of my life as a disastrous nightmare. But God had his own wishes. So in this early morning of exactly 5:17 am, without a night's sleep, I am narrating the worst experience.
31st March, 2011. In the morning also I didnt knew that the devil D was at my door step. Mood was not good. Grandpa was not well. Came to office as usual. Happily wished Gautam Sir and Barsha Ba for their birthdays. And a call.... Grandpa suffering cerebral attack. This term was vague for me then. Rushed out of office, came home. Didnt knew when ny chins got wet. Packed whatever I could, because I was going to accompany Grandma for few days when Grandpa will be in hospital. Rushed out to metro. Office crowd. One train miss, means another 10 minutes late. No ways. Train at Dumdum ... "Kalyani Simanta".... this is what Grandpa always preferred to go home by. But today I will not get down at my home stoppage, because no one was there. Horrible crowd. Couldnt even made it to ladies compartment. Left everything to God. A girl amongst 100 men in a compartment. Fought tough to got through. But again, one train miss, another 20 minutes late.
Mellenium Nursing Home. An ambulance. Front seat, Jishu Mama. Back, Grandma, helpless look, grandpa, lying unconscious, breathing heavily, a pipe in the nose. Nothing more. He was admitted to ICU. Doctors asked immedietly to rush to Kolkata. 9:30 pm. Aim... DeSun Hospital. Called up Subhankar and assured he will be there. The dark Kalyani Expressway. Jishu mama in front seat, Grandma and me, at back. grandpa, lying unconsciously in front of me. Like never before. My right hand holding his right hand. I was still not feeling anything, just when the ambulance siren woke me up. Man!!! I was in an ambulance. My best part of my life was lying in front of me. And his best part, by my side. His heavy breaths assuring me, I am alive, Suddenly he stopped. The motion of ambulance and the scenarios outside didnt bothered me. I was scared to feel his pulse. I was scared to check his heart beat. I was scared to look at my right where Grandma was seating grave steady. Yes I saw, I saw his neck palpitating. I breathed. I am alive.The ambulance siren, my stretcher and the person lying there, and the dark night outside.... I never wanted to live this part of my life.
DeSun Hospital. 11:30pm. Subhankar's face relieved me. Grandpa was immedietly given oxygen and admitted to ICU. RMO declared... "chance less". I came out. I had the responsibility to look after Grandma. I needed to smile to say, "Now everything will be fine, doctors are taking care of."
I thought of writing this long back. But again thought, if everything goes right, I will never write it. Will eliminate this part of my life as a disastrous nightmare. But God had his own wishes. So in this early morning of exactly 5:17 am, without a night's sleep, I am narrating the worst experience.
31st March, 2011. In the morning also I didnt knew that the devil D was at my door step. Mood was not good. Grandpa was not well. Came to office as usual. Happily wished Gautam Sir and Barsha Ba for their birthdays. And a call.... Grandpa suffering cerebral attack. This term was vague for me then. Rushed out of office, came home. Didnt knew when ny chins got wet. Packed whatever I could, because I was going to accompany Grandma for few days when Grandpa will be in hospital. Rushed out to metro. Office crowd. One train miss, means another 10 minutes late. No ways. Train at Dumdum ... "Kalyani Simanta".... this is what Grandpa always preferred to go home by. But today I will not get down at my home stoppage, because no one was there. Horrible crowd. Couldnt even made it to ladies compartment. Left everything to God. A girl amongst 100 men in a compartment. Fought tough to got through. But again, one train miss, another 20 minutes late.
Mellenium Nursing Home. An ambulance. Front seat, Jishu Mama. Back, Grandma, helpless look, grandpa, lying unconscious, breathing heavily, a pipe in the nose. Nothing more. He was admitted to ICU. Doctors asked immedietly to rush to Kolkata. 9:30 pm. Aim... DeSun Hospital. Called up Subhankar and assured he will be there. The dark Kalyani Expressway. Jishu mama in front seat, Grandma and me, at back. grandpa, lying unconsciously in front of me. Like never before. My right hand holding his right hand. I was still not feeling anything, just when the ambulance siren woke me up. Man!!! I was in an ambulance. My best part of my life was lying in front of me. And his best part, by my side. His heavy breaths assuring me, I am alive, Suddenly he stopped. The motion of ambulance and the scenarios outside didnt bothered me. I was scared to feel his pulse. I was scared to check his heart beat. I was scared to look at my right where Grandma was seating grave steady. Yes I saw, I saw his neck palpitating. I breathed. I am alive.The ambulance siren, my stretcher and the person lying there, and the dark night outside.... I never wanted to live this part of my life.
DeSun Hospital. 11:30pm. Subhankar's face relieved me. Grandpa was immedietly given oxygen and admitted to ICU. RMO declared... "chance less". I came out. I had the responsibility to look after Grandma. I needed to smile to say, "Now everything will be fine, doctors are taking care of."
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