When he declared... I AM NOT APPLICABLE...  the first thing that stroke my mind was, yes, he is right. I made myself that inconvenient that today I am not applicable to be one of the best in-spite of my hard work. The thing which is highly needed is a smart game. If I dont know to play, then I will have to learn.


I am puzzled in both the ways. The only thing which I need right now is a permanent solution, at least in some way. A permanent solution for a career is not possible. If only he gives a permanent say-out that, he is serious about me and he really wants me to stay with him.


There was a day when I used to think that these things are useless. Some sweet dreams that used to rule my  mind was,,,, I will live just the way I am and nobody dare to change me. Today I am a professional, where nothing according to me works. Today I am girlfriend, where I need to manage a 24 years old kid. Today I am a responsible daughter, where I need to duty my life for two most amazing persons of my life.... maa, baba. And today I am an understanding grand-daughter in who's custody there are two cute 70 and 80 years old babies. I have my dreams and ambitions, some simple wishes. But I dont dare to expose them. I am bonded. I am into an invisible cage. Something that forces me to not to be me. Love is there, life is there....... but who will help me to change my perspective?